It’s probably rather clichéd to say that every child is a truly unique human being but I’m going to say it anyway. Every child is unique. What does this mean to you as a Mom or Dad? It means that each child needs to be understood and parented in a unique way. This means that parents will need to make adjustments to the way they parent each of their children.
Gone are the days when it was believed that ‘parenting is parenting’ and that a good one-size-fits-all parenting tool box is all that was needed to be a good parent. Today, parenting is an art. It is an art that starts with having a deep understanding of who your child is, what inspires and excites him, what upsets and frightens him and what he needs, so that he can feel safe and strong. The answers to these basic questions are different for every child. It is this information that will give you the clues you need so that you can adjust your parenting style in ways that will work best for your child.
The fact that different children need different parenting, brings up some challenges for Moms and Dads, many of whom ask me…
- How do I get into my child’s world – I’m not a psychologist?
- How do I know what I need to change about my parenting style?
- How do I know that I am making the right kind of changes?
These are important questions. Understanding why a child has fears or meltdowns or is defiant or cannot sit still or is sad and negative about life – and knowing how to respond in ways that will not escalate the problems, requires specific knowledge and skills.
The first step to being the kind of parent your child needs.
If you are dealing with a situation where you have a sense that what you are doing (with all the love in the world) is not working for your child, then I recommend the following:
- Start by finding a healthcare practitioner that is an expert in understanding – and showing you
– exactly what is happening with your child’s inner self, body and brain
– and what kind of parenting would work best for your child
- Make sure that this is a practitioner who knows how to look for, find and treat underlying root causes.
- Look for a practitioner that has the ability to empower you, the parent, with the exact parenting tools and skills, customized to address – and heal – your child’s unique challenges.
I love your thoughts, questions, comments, so keep them coming!