Many of you have been watching the two FREE videos I have made available and today I want to tell you a story that brings these videos to life. The story is about Diana and Mike and their 7 year old son Daniel (names changed). Daniel is extremely negative about everything. He has been this way since he was little. The professional term may be ‘oppositional defiance’ but as you know I don’t like professional labels and I happen to believe that ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) is a particularly ridiculous one!
Now, for those of you who have been, or are currently, in this kind of situation, you will most likely agree with Diana and Mike who told me…’dealing with this kind of ongoing negativity and defiance can be emotionally exhausting’. They described to me how Daniel’s negativity pushed their buttons to the point where they found themselves responding to him in ways that had the effect of escalating his defiant behavior. Of course, this just increased everyone’s stress levels. There is no doubt that negative responses from a child, sometimes every day or even several times a day, can be hugely stressful.
I suggested to Diana and Mike that their son is using defiance as a way of feeling in control because he is feeling stressed and anxious, and, that we should use my two foundation healing tools to address this. Now let me tell you that Mike was highly skeptical but agreed to commit fully to using these two healing parenting tools for two months. His words were, ‘the tools are pretty easy to use and I don’t have to make any great changes to my lifestyle, so I will work with Diana on this and let’s see what happens’. (I had a sneaking suspicion that he did this to keep the peace with his wife – but that was good enough for me)!
Five weeks later a totally different Mike walked into my consulting room and told me that he couldn’t believe the difference in Daniel. The negative and defiant responses had reduced significantly. He said, ‘I get to have fun with Daniel now, instead of constantly negotiating, cajoling and arguing with him’. Diana looked like a different person. Her face was more relaxed; the tension around her mouth and in her body language had gone; and she smiled in a way I had not seen her smile before. And there was a closeness between Diana and Mike that wasn’t there before.
So what exactly changed for Daniel? How come he was able to let go of the need to control his world by being defiant.
- There was less stress being radiating from Mom and Dad. So Daniel was not absorbing their stress.
- Daniel had begun to see himself in a new way that made him feel good about himself.
- We also gave Daniel a daily probiotic and omega3 to help his body and brain function well.
The story I just shared is just one of the many examples of how you as a parent can put your child on a path of healing. As soon as I can I will get Diana and Mike to tell us their story on video. In the meanwhile, if you have not yet signed up for the 2 FREE Videos you still have one week left to do this. After that they will be available in my online Shop at $9.95 for one or $16.95 for both. When you sign up (on www.parentstakecharge.com home page) you will get each video one week apart. This will give you the opportunity to watch it, fully absorb it and put it into practice, before you get video 2. You will see that I have included lots of vitally important information as well as describing exactly how to use each tool.
Please let me know about the amazing results you get from using these tools with your children!